A Man of the Left

Brian getting to grips with a young supporter 

 

What do we really know about Brian Cowen? We know Ian Paisley finds him funny looking (pot meet kettle, kettle, pot). We know he’s not above bumping another TD out of the party (Sile DeValera in 1993) and that he’s fond of singing “The Town I Loved So Well” after a few scoops. But is this really all we know about him?

 

It’s hard to predict what type of Taoiseach Brian would make if he does claim Bertie’s shoes, but one thing we’ve learnt from our near and dear neighbours in Westminister is that successions don’t necessarily lead to success.

 

Even Ahern’s most ardent critics (and I’d like to number myself amongst them) will acknowledge that he is an extremely affable and sociable person. For those of you who haven’t met him, Brian is as well, but to be fair it rarely translates through the media. You always get the impression that Biffo’s being interviewed just because the journalists are looking for something to do while they wait for Ahern to arrive.  Similarly Cowen now finds himself in a position where he needs to make his mark in the publics conscience – seeing as Bertie has swanned off with the plaudits for the peace process, is claiming to have modernised Ireland and is generally taking responsibility for motherhood and apple pie. Brian’s obvious fall back is the economy but, well how do you say this, the economy is shakier then a hungover bowl of jelly.

 

One swift move that would make him popular is to fell Mary Harney. Bumping Harney from Health would increase his standing in the eyes of the 97.3% of the voting public who did not make their mark beside the PDs. Cowen has a good track record of hostility towards the PD’s having said at an Ard Fheis several years back “If in doubt, leave them out” so this may be an option. But one problem remains. Brian himself has referred to the Dept. of Health as Angola (due to the number and variety of landmines in it) – and the question is, who does Brian want to leave with no political legs to stand on?

 

The good news for Angola is that they are dealing with their landmine problem, daily fields are being made safe and thousands of the most inhumane, indiscriminate weapons ever envisaged by man are being destroyed. The bad news for the Irish is that there’s more claymores  popping up in the Health system every day, and the word on the trolleys is that there more to break very very soon. 

 

Its safe to say that Fianna Fail are hoping for a bounce in the polls, out of Bertie’s long walk (In-da’s double buff of calling for a snap election he can’t possibly win, is the first smart thing I’m ever seen him do) . The electorate are an emotional lot and its going to take some getting used to not having Bertie knocking about. No doubt its started already, but the whispers of “ah sure they were awful mean to push him out like that” will no doubt make the national commentary in a matter of weeks – if not days. The question is, can Brian sustain the sympathetic feelings from the masses towards his predecessor long enough to see him into a term all of his very own.

 

There’s a few options for Biffo but one way or the other he’s going to have to get out of Berties shadow and make his own name for himself – perhaps over the next few years we’ll hear the slogans “Ahern for the Aras” or maybe even “Send Bertie to Brussells”

 

The one thing that’s always sure in Ireland is that the bookies are up to date with all the latest shenanigans (aside from the memorable rumour of some locals in a pub in Clare sticking a few quid on Labour’s 100 to 1 outsider Moosajee Bhamjee and spending the next few months getting him elected). Well the bookies have Brian as their odds on favourite to inherit Ahern’s mantle. If he can be the voters favourite is another matter altogether. 

 

Anyway here he is singing a snippet of the Town I loved so well.